If I Can't Love Her
by D.C. al Coda
Summary: Based off the Act I Finale song of Beauty and the Beast (Broadway). Danny somehow managed to convince Spencer to perform in a vocal musical showcase, if anything just to help him move past his lingering feelings for JJ. But how effective is this showcase for helping Spencer mover past his feelings?


**A/N: Well, this is awkward. I didn't even hold my seven consistent days of posts for more than one day. I feel awful. I do apologize for that. To make up for my not posting, you guys will get two posts from me today.**

**As you can guess from the title, this is based off the song _If I Can't Love Her _from Disney's Beauty and the Beast on Broadway.**

**Read, review, and enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Spencer stood backstage at the showcase Danny convinced him to do. Danny had recently been teaching Spencer how to sing. Through his music he would be able to put out his feelings. Danny knew how important it was to Spencer that he get his emotion. Once the showcase came up and Danny had gotten Spencer involved.<p>

Danny was the original choice to do the showcase, but he asked if he could have a friend perform as well. The organizers, having trouble finding performers, agreed and Spencer was suddenly thrown into practicing a song for the showcase. Danny and Spencer agreed to do emotional Broadway songs. As a result, Danny had chosen "Electricity" from _Billy Elliot: The Musical_ and Spencer was coaxed into singing "If I Can't Love Her" from the Broadway version of _Beauty and the Beast_.

Danny felt that it best expressed an emotion of love - something Spencer had been struggling with for a long time; ever since he lost JJ for good.

Spencer had said that he gave up on JJ after she got married, but he never did. He still loved her. He hated that he lost her to Will LaMontagne. Will seemed respectable, but Spencer never really approved of him. He hated being anywhere "Mr. Marlon Brando Speech". Spencer didn't know what she saw in him. He didn't look very attractive. He looked like a henchman you would see getting killed in a Batman movie (in Spencer's opinion); he had the most annoying and unintelligible accent in the world; he despised him. Spencer was only glad he didn't have to be anywhere the bastard. Will gave Spencer a vibe of dislike and the feeling was mutual.

He was interrupted in mid-thought by the stage manager alerting him that he was up in a little bit. Spencer took his mind off of JJ and his hatred for Will and mentally prepared for his performance.

He walked onto the stage with pride. Looking at the large audience - which he knew included JJ, Henry, Morgan, Emily (who traveled from London to see him perform), Garcia, Blake (who came back to see him perform as well), Hotch, Rossi, and their new co-worker Kate Callahan - he felt slightly nervous. He took a deep breath and he calmed himself down.

"Hello," Spencer said. "My name is Spencer Reid and I will be performing 'If I Can't Love Her' from _Beauty and the Beast_."

The pit orchestra began playing the intro for the song and he got ready to sing.

_**And in my twisted face**_  
><em><strong>There's not the slightest trace<strong>_  
><em><strong>Of anything that even hints of kindness<strong>_  
><em><strong>And from my tortured shape<strong>_  
><em><strong>No comfort, no escape<strong>_  
><em><strong>I see, but deep within is utter blindness<strong>_  
><em><strong>Hopeless<strong>_  
><em><strong>As my dream dies<strong>_  
><em><strong>As the time flies<strong>_  
><em><strong>Love a lost illusion<strong>_  
><em><strong>Helpless<strong>_  
><em><strong>Unforgiven<strong>_  
><em><strong>Cold and driven<strong>_  
><em><strong>To this sad conclusion<strong>_

Spencer put all of his heart and soul into the performance, his feelings for JJ propelling him. Every emotion from the past ten years flowed into his performance. Spencer looked through the audience for JJ. When he did, he sang the next part to her.

_**No beauty could move me**_  
><em><strong>No goodness improve me<strong>_  
><em><strong>No power on earth, if I can't love her<strong>_  
><em><strong>No passion could reach me<strong>_  
><em><strong>No lesson could teach me<strong>_  
><em><strong>How I could have loved her and make her love me too <strong>_  
><em><strong>If I can't love her, then who?<strong>_

Spencer didn't really believe Will loved JJ. He had the strongest feeling that he only got together with JJ permanently because of Henry. Spencer really loved JJ. Will was there because he was Henry's father. He was a traditionalist. That was why he married JJ. And he felt that tradition should be followed. Spencer came over once while Will was out at a sports bar watching football and saw the mess that Will had left for JJ. JJ attended to Henry for a while and when she came back, Spencer had cleaned up virtually the whole house. All the dishes JJ had yet to wash were all cleaned and put away. All the laundry was folded, hung up, or going through the machines. The floor was clean from the dirt that was left there. He had put away Henry's toys in place where Henry would know where to find them.

Spencer hated that Will did things like that. She travels all over the country then has to come home and clean up the mess he left. _What a jackass_, Spencer thought.

_**Long ago I should have seen**_  
><em><strong>All the things I could have been<strong>_  
><em><strong>Careless and unthinking, I moved onward<strong>_

Spencer had tried to move past his feelings or JJ. It was just too hard for him though. He had tried his hardest to move on, but failed. He loved her and Henry. He could only remember back to that football nearly ten years ago. Why hadn't he made his move then? Why hadn't he just told JJ that being friends wasn't enough? He would do anything to protect her. He remembered back to when they found her after Hastings had her kidnapped. When he heard what Hastings had tried to do to her, he whipped out his gun and fired two bullets: one into his groin and one into his head. If the fall didn't kill Hastings, then Spencer did. Nobody messed with JJ, lest Spencer laid his wrath upon them. And those who felt the extent of Spencer's wrath learned their lesson.

_**No pain could be deeper**_  
><em><strong>No life could be cheaper<strong>_  
><em><strong>No point anymore, if I can't love her<strong>_  
><em><strong>No spirit could win me<strong>_  
><em><strong>No hope left within me<strong>_  
><em><strong>Hope I could have loved her and that she'd set me free <strong>_  
><em><strong>But it's not to be<strong>_  
><em><strong>If I can't love her<strong>_  
><em><strong>Let the world be done with me<strong>_

Spencer belted the last note as the orchestra music swelled and the audience gave a standing ovation to the Boy Genius. He saw as the entire audience stood up and cheered for him. He could hear Danny cheering for him backstage. Spencer never felt prouder in that moment.

* * *

><p>In the audience, before Spencer's performance, JJ was mulling over her failure with Will. Henry was left without a father. JJ kicked him out after she found out that he had been cheating on her with another woman. Not just that, Henry had seen all these unknown women and alerted his mother as to how many he saw. His number was ten. She knew Henry's number wouldn't be wrong; Spencer had taught her son well enough.<p>

Spencer. At that thought, she smiled. She had no idea Spence could sing. She knew how much Spencer cared for her and Henry. She knew how he would take down anyone that hurt her or Henry. She remembered when Spence told her that he made sure that Hastings was dead by putting a bullet in his head and in his groin. She knew that anyone that messed with her or Henry would feel his wrath. And she'd seen it before. Poor sucker didn't know what hit him.

She sat through so many great performers, including her co-worker Daniel Parker (or as he preferred to be called: Danny Johnson), before Spence came on stage. When Spence started singing, she felt her heart tug a little. She'd never heard the song before, but she knew that Spence's performance had to be because of her. She knew it because a quarter of the way into the song, Spence looked at her and sang it to her. She heard ever word he sang. And she knew what he was saying.

He was saying that he still loved her. And if truth be told, she still loved him. He was so kind and sweet to her.

**_If I can't love her, then who?_**

That line gave JJ pause for thought. Will didn't really love her. She was right. The song was really about her and Spence.

_If he can't love me, then who?_ she thought. _No one. It should have been him__._

She listened closely to the rest of the song and smiled at the emotion that was being given to the performance by Spencer. She started remembering all the times Spence was there for her. From Jason Clark Battle to the Pentagon to Hastings, he was there for her.

Once the performance ended and Spencer belted the final note, JJ was the first to give a standing ovation for Spence. Spencer saw that too, but he didn't draw attention to it. He still had a curtain call to do.

* * *

><p>Spencer and Danny stood next to each other for the curtain call, proud of themselves. However, Danny was more proud of Spencer than himself. He had tricked Spencer into singing the song so that he could feel some type of closure for his feelings for JJ. Given that, from backstage, Danny saw JJ be the first one to give Spencer a standing ovation. To him, it was clear that JJ didn't have closure on her feelings for Spencer. And given Spencer's giant grin after he finished, the closure Danny had intended had failed. Did it matter that he accidently did the opposite of what he planned? Not really.<p>

He was happy for Spencer. He was happy for JJ. He kept the smile on the outside as he frowned internally. Of course they would they never be together.

_Thanks a lot, LaMontagne, you no-good, jackass, unfaithful, unintelligible son of a bitch,_ Danny thought. Yeah, he knew long ago that Will was throwing himself around with other women. He never told JJ because the last thing he needed was an angry JJ and Will beating him up. But he knew that Will was a man-whore.

Go figure. Will LaMontagne, the man-whore of Washington, D.C., had taken Spencer's happiness away because he was Henry's father. At least to everyone's knowledge.

Yeah, he accepted that Henry was Will's son (though he didn't like it because of the jackass side of Will), but he couldn't deny the physical similarities.

_Maybe that's why JJ's so protective of him,_ Danny thought.

Either way, he would be happy when Will was out of the picture. Will couldn't hide his other girlfriends forever. Even if he tried his hardest.

* * *

><p>Spencer and Danny met with the team out in the lobby.<p>

"Great job, you two," Blake said.

"I knew Danny had some singing chops," Morgan said. "But damn, Pretty Boy. If you'd started singing years ago, you would the best wingman in the world. Girls love guys who can sing."

"Either way, it was amazing," Emily said. "I loved it."

"If only Danny had shown off his dancing skills during his piece," Garcia joked.

"Are you kidding?" Danny said. "I can't even do a sixteenth of the kind of dancing they do in _Billy Elliot_. I'd end up kill myself trying."

"Fantastic, both of you," Rossi said. "Such good song choices. There was a lot of emotional power in those pieces. You got Hotch choking up a little."

"Dave," Hotch scolded. "I told you, I had phlegm caught in my throat." He turned to the two singers. "Great job, you two."

"Thanks, Hotch," Danny said. "But I think the award for best performance should go to our resident genius, Spencer Reid."

Spencer blushed slightly.

"I'm serious. Even Terrence Mann couldn't give a performance like that," Danny complimented. He looked over and saw the confused looks on the team.

Spencer jumped in. "Terrence Mann was the original portrayer of the Beast in _Beauty and the Beast_ on Broadway. Nominated for the 1994 Tony award for Best Leading Actor in a Musical. Lost to Boyd Gaines in _She Loves Me_."

Even Danny's eyebrows raised at the fact Spencer had just recited.

"I did my research," Spencer said.

"I can tell," Danny said.

Danny smirked. "How many Tony nominations has Terrence Mann gotten and for what roles?"

"Three," Spencer shot off. "Two Best Leading Actors: one for Inspector Javert in _Les Miserables_, one for The Beast in _Beauty and the Beast_, and one nomination for Best Feature Actor for King Charles in the 2013 revival of _Pippin_."

Danny looked impressed. "Very good. You know a little bit of knowledge on Broadway. When you can name every Tony winner for Best Musical, I'll be truly amazed."

"The first winner was..." Spencer began.

"Whoa!" Danny interrupted. "Not right now, okay?" Danny said as he chuckled.

JJ smiled for her talented friend, her heart fluttering a little. Spencer smiled as well, the adrenaline and ecstatic feeling still going through his system.

Both of them were smiling not just because of the performance. Both of them knew what the song really meant.

_Love._

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, I know it's not like me to leave it off there. This is just a one-shot. I'll see you again later for another one-shot.<strong>

**See ya!**

**-D.C. al Coda**


End file.
